Archive for July, 2010

Babies

Monday, July 19th, 2010

A week ago today, I had a baby. Well…Annie had the baby but I was there and my life was changed as well. Abbey has joined us and she is a beautiful pleasure and my all time favorite kid / person / everything. My favorite times are the early am hours when I get to sit and hold / feed her and sing to her. It is bringing songs back to life for me that I have not sung in awhile. I keep singing Cat Stevens, Harry Chapin and James Taylor. Anyone who knows me would think that Beatlemania would be going on in my babies bedroom but so far, I have kept the fabs at a minimum. I suppose I am introducing them selectively…like fine wine. I have also not sung any Hillary Step to her yet. I don’t know why. I am nervous to for some silly reason.

All in good time.

Damn You, JM

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

Damn you, John Mayer. It’s bad enough that you are a killer guitar player. It’s bad enough that you are a kick ass singer (now that you have stopped breathing like an asthmatic). It’s over-the-top bad enough that you are a wicked lyricist who writes AMAZING songs with incredible music that somehow manages to remain cool and accessible without giving up the dignity that most pop music bails on. It’s bad enough that you are turning into a killer producer.

So why, then do you have to do the nast with Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson and particularly Jennifer Love-Hewett? Isn’t that just adding insult to injury?

Well, John Mayer (if that really is your name) TWO people can play at that game. This month is officially “do things as well as John Mayer” month and I plan to do JUST THAT!

But I am not gonna have sex with any of those babes. Mostly because I am married but a little bit because those babes all beg me just a little too hard and a little too often. It makes them seem pathetic and I can’t enable that kind of thing.

We buy homes

Saturday, July 10th, 2010

Rob, Jon and Ale are driving through nightly, rural Pennsylvania, on their way back from playing at HempFest. John sits in the back, Rob
and Ale are in front.

Jon: "There’s a sign on that pole there that says "WE BUY HOMES". What the f*** does that mean?"

Rob and Ale, in unison: "It means they buy homes".

Jon: "Yeah, but what the f*** does that MEAN?"

Rob and Ale, in unison: "It means THEY BUY HOMES!”

Jon: "Yeah…?!"

Rob: "It means that if you foreclose your home and are ready to die they buy your home."

[Pause]

Jon: "Whatever."